Newsletter Issue 34
January 2012

In addition to some great jokes, I have some great 401(k) info in this Empowering Thoughts newsletter. Check out these thoughts: 1) Lucian's New Course. I have developed a new short course that is all about 'How to Explain Rate Increases to Customers.' This course is great for Account Managers/Reps, Regulatory Affairs employees, Community Affairs employees, Public Affairs Employees etc; 2) Funny Life Story. I have a funny life story about a trip down memory lane which includes some Terry Bradshaw stories and Lucian's college dates; 3) Maximize Your 401(k). I have two great 401(k)articles. The first is on finding the perfect balance of investments (stocks, bonds, cash etc) for your 401(k); 4) Highest Returns. The second article lists and explains the highest return Money Market accounts/funds and the highest return Certificate of Deposits (CDs) you need to know to Maximize Returns on your checking account cash.

I hope you enjoy this issue of Empowering Thoughts.

in this issue
  • Joke of the Day
  • Lucian's New Course: Explaining and Defending Your Rate Increase to Customers
  • Perfect 401(k) Portfolio for You
  • Highest "Money Market" and "CD" Returns Available
  • Lucian's Funny Life Story

  • Lucian's New Course: Explaining and Defending Your Rate Increase to Customers

    I have developed a new course to meet a critical need in electric and gas utilities. It is entitled 'Explaining and Defending Your Rate Increase to Customers.' It teaches utility employees how to understand their current rate case and, more importantly, how to explain their rate increases to customers and friends in a clear, concise and powerful way.

    In this course I list 20 common customer questions and complaints customers make about utility rate increases or quality of service. Then, I carefully teach utility employees knowledge and skills they need to answer these questions and complaints. If your utility is doing a good job of providing service to customers, there is no effective rebuttal customers can give to the answers I teach in this class.

    You might ask, "Why is this course important?"


    Perfect 401(k) Portfolio for You

    My Business Basics course attendees are always asking me for my portfolio balance recommendations for their 401(k) retirement fund. They want to know the proper balance of their retirement investment accounts for their age and family situation. They ask me questions like: "How much of my 401(k) should be in stocks?" or
    "How much of my 401(k) should be in
    Bonds?" or
    "How much of my 401(k) should be in Cash?"

    Well, I have found some answers for you in Smart Money magazine.


    Highest "Money Market" and "CD" Returns Available

    I thought some of you might be interested in investing in very safe, short-term investments. These investments would be for cash sitting in your checking account earning zero. This would be cash that you are not going to use for several months, or even for several years. To put this cash to work, you could consider a


    Lucian's Funny Life Story

    Lucian's Trip Down Memory Lane

    I recently flew to Louisiana to attend the Board meeting of the Business School at Louisiana Tech University (La Tech). They had requested that Board members wear La Tech clothing in honor of La Tech Homecoming activities. I wore my college football letter jacket. Terry Bradshaw has one just like it.


    Joke of the Day

    Man Attempts to Fly With Parrot

    On reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He gently asks the stewardess for a coffee whereupon the parrot squawks a threatening order to the stewardess, "And get me a coke, you cow!"

    The stewardess, flustered, brings back a coke for the parrot and forgets the man's coffee. The man kindly points out this omission to the stewardess at which point the parrot drains its glass of coke and bawls, "And get me another coke dogface!"

    Quite upset, the girl comes back shaking with another coke but still no coffee for the man. Unaccustomed to such poor service the man tries the parrot's approach. "I've asked you twice for a coffee! Go and get it right now you old goat!"

    The next moment both he and the parrot have been wrenched up and thrown out of the emergency exit by two burly stewards. Plunging downward towards the earth the parrot turns to him and says, "For someone who can't fly, you've sure got a lot of guts!"

    Children's Joke for Your Kids or Grandkids

    Q: What did the donut say to the cake?

    A: If I had your dough, I wouldn't be hanging around this hole!

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    Lucian Conway and Conway Consulting is recommending no particular stock or fund.